Perfect Paella

The thing about perfection is that something only gets called that when it's compared with imperfection. After all, you only call a man perfect when you're comparing him with some fat short bloke with fur on his back. A day is only perfect when it wasn't one of those where you sat in traffic then ran over your cat when you pulled into the driveway.

Well, I think that's just unfair. Something shouldn't be called perfect solely by virtue of another being worse. Take this: I bloody hate hot muggy summers, yet a DJ had the nerve yesterday to say that, compared to countries with hurricanes, tornadoes and snowstorms, South Africa's weather is perfect. Oh really? That's like saying, compared to husbands who sets their wives alight with petrol, my husband is perfect, because he only breaks my fingers. See? Not fair.

Of course it happens with food too and it's even worse because there are so many different versions of everything. You can't possibly call a chicken pie perfect because there are a gazillion different versions you haven't even tested or tasted. The poor stew can forget about being called perfect because the only thing in the recipe world that doesn't get stewed is, well, I don't even know. Somewhere someone at some time has stewed every damn thing from nightingale testicles to aardvark tonsils.

But then there's the Paella. You can't compare it to anything because, (give or take a rabbit), there isn't anything to compare it with. Like Robbie Williams, (give or take a venereal disease), there is only one. And hares and herpes aside, trust me, when you get served either one on a platter it's gonna get messy but you won't be able to stop until you've licked that platter clean. 

Some things simply don't need comparison to be called perfection.

xx
J

PAELLA

 
The pan above is called a paellera. I guess you don't need one but it's so much cooler than a normal old pan. What you CAN'T compromise on is the rice. Don't use Tastic or Risotto or Basmati or whatever. You need to find paella rice, also called Bomba or Calasparra. This type of rice absorbs the tastes of the paella like risotto would, but it doesn't become stodgy. 

Pinch of saffron
600g Deboned chicken thighs
100g Chorizo sliced
4 Cloves garlic sliced
2 Bay leaves
1 Onion chopped
1 Red pepper chopped
1 Green pepper chopped
6 Tomatoes skinned deseeded and chopped
1t Smoked Spanish paprika
500g Short grain rice
1.25L Chicken stock
400g Mussels
150g Calamari rings
800g Prawns
100g Frozen peas
1 Lemon in wedges.

Put the saffron in a tablespoon and heat to release the aroma then crush. Brown the chicken and remove. Fry the chorizo, garlic and bay leaves for a couple of minutes, then add the onion and peppers. Fry slowly until soft, about 5 minutes. Add the tomatoes and paprika and cook for another 5 minutes. Put the chicken back, stir in the rice then cook for a few minutes. Add the saffron to the chicken stock then pour into the pan. Reduce the heat and allow to simmer for about 15 minutes. Add the seafood and cook for another 10 minutes. Check the rice and cook a bit longer if required. Add the peas and cook for another few minutes. Remove from the heat and allow to rest for a few minutes before adding the lemon wedges and serving.

PS - Technically you shouldn't stir paella but that only works if the heat can be distributed equally, which it can't on my stove. So I stirred, but gently.