Stuff You

I get seriously annoyed when people are pretentious about food, which might seem hypocritical because I like to make what some people would call "pretentious food". Don't get me wrong, I love good ol' bredies and roasts, but I love it when there's a twist on a classic. Take the iconic 70's chicken cordon bleu. (SO fabulous darling!) But now, instead of stuffing the breast you stuff the deboned thigh and leg. And instead of ham and cheese you stuff it with pork and pistachios. And just like that - Oscar Wilde becomes Wild Oscar!

So yes, I like different, but at the end of the day, to me, it's just a chicken cordon bleu on crack. What gets me pissy is when someone uses pretentious terms to make themselves look good, not the food. I was Googling recipes the other day when I spotted "crushed potato". I pictured something like a roast potato broken open then reroasted. But nooooooo. It turns out crushed potato is just what some tosser calls mash potato. I bet he puts tomato jus and mustard puree on his hot dog. Maybe a little peri peri coulis. Since he's from America and they have aerosol cheese, he probably finishes it off with some gouda foam. Idiot. 

(This might not be the time or place and slightly off topic not to mention apologies to the purists but I would love love LOVE to try aerosol cheese!!!)

All I'm saying is, call a spade a spade, not a rectangular bevel-edged garden implement. I like weird ingredients and cool techniques, but the bottom line is, whatever you're serving, once it's on the plate your mouth will do the talking. So let the food speak for itself and shut the fk up. 

xx

J

PS: A cookbook has been in the news recently because the authors didn't give credit to the original creators of the recipes. Let me make this clear. I change all the recipes I make because I'm annoying that way. But they ALL have their origin from someone else. So sue me. (But I wouldn't if I were you. Allison is a lawyer and she once went into pissed off mode with me and I kind of wet myself. And I'm her second best friend. Trust me. You do NOT want to mess with that woman...)

STUFFED MEATBALLS

1 Egg

200ml Yoghurt

1c Breadcrumbs

1 Onion grated

750g Mince

2 Cloves garlic crushed

1.2c Finely chopped coriander

1t Lemon zest

1.5t Ground cumin

1t Ground coriander

1t Chilli powder

100g Feta cut into small blocks

Fresh mint

1/2c Chickpea flour

1t Turmeric

1.5t Paprika

Mix the egg, 75ml yoghurt and breadcrumbs and allow to stand for a few minutes. Mix in the onion, mince, garlic, coriander, zest, cumin, coriander, chilli and season well. Roll the mince into ping pong sized balls, flatten, put a mint leave in the middle, then a block of feta and roll back into a ball. Put in the fridge for half an hour to firm up. Mix together the flour with the turmeric and 1t of the paprika. Roll the meatballs in the mixture then fry until nicely browned. Roast in the oven at 360F for about 10 minutes. Sprinkle the other 1/2t paprika and some chopped mint over the rest of the yoghurt and serve with the meatballs.

DEBONED CHICKEN LEGS WRAPPED IN BACON WITH PISTACHIO STUFFING

6 Chicken Legs (drumstick and thigh)

24 Rashers of streaky bacon

30ml Sherry

60ml Marsala

1c Stock (I did half chicken half beef)

350g Pork mince (just squeeze out some sausages)

100g Roasted and salted pistachios

1 Egg yolk

1T Dried thyme

2T Chopped parsley

Deboning a chicken leg isn't as hard as you think. You slice from thigh bone to drumstick then just start scraping the meat off. I've put together some pics which will hopefully help. 

Take a piece of foil two hands wide. Season and drizzle olive oil in the middle. Lay down four rashers side by side. Put the deboned leg on it and some stuffing down the middle. Fold over then wrap with the bacon. Roll with the foil into a Christmas cracker, being careful not to tear the foil. Poach for half an hour in boiling water. Cool for half an hour in the fridge. Fry slowly until the bacon is nice and crispy then set aside. Turn up the heat and pour the sherry, marsala and stock into the pan and reduce. Thicken with a little bit of maizena if preferred. I served mine on some mash with a roasted tomato and rocket salad. I just roasted some cherry tomatoes in the oven at 325F for half an hour, seasoned with salt, pepper and a little bit of sugar.