Giddyuppychef

You know what they say. You fall off a horse, you gotta get back on. I'm not so good at that getting back on the horse stuff. I fall off a horse and that's the end of equestrianism for me. Like WC Fields said: No use being a damn fool about it.

But let's face it. This is cooking. And I neeeeeeeed to cook. What am I going to do if I can't cook? Become the coocoocrocheter? I can already see it. Every Thursday I'll start researching doily patterns. And on Friday night I'll lay out my wool and those hooky needles and maybe, ooh! ooh!, those little bitty glass beads you tie to the ends! ... Please. Someone. Kill me now. 

So cooking it is. But thanks to Allison and my parents I didn't have to get up on that pony without some tools to boost my first ride. And I got seriously cool tools for my birthday. Allison raided yuppiechef for a pasta maker and an ice cream maker and my parents did two shopping trips to find me the perfect kitchen torch. 

The best part is, with my fragile culinary self esteem still firmly in place, new tools were the perfect antidote. There's no shame in screwing up with a new tool. Hell, it's practically compulsory. I mean, if it just works effortlessly the first time you kinda think, well hey, I could've done that myself! I also kept the recipes short and simple. Very low key. Very unlike me. But of course, this IS me. And thus, inevitably, vanilla ice cream became chocolate silk ice cream, crème brûlée became coffee crème brûlée and tagliatelle became ravioli. 

Agh, whatcha gonna do. You can't keep a coocoocook down for long. I stopped cooking and it just made me feel worse so I started again. Like WC Fields said: No use being a damn fool about it.

xx

J

 

LEEK AND MOZZARELLA RAVIOLI WITH CHILLI TOMATO SAUCE AND BASIL CREAM

 

 

Pasta

200g White bread flour

2 Eggs

I tried lots of variations, thinking this is too simple. But it really is that simple. I throw it in my 90 year old Kenwood with the dough hook attachment, let it rattle dangerously for 5 minutes and I get a beautiful dough. If you do it by hand you'll find your dough is speckled when you start. You need to keep kneading it until it's smooth and silky. It takes 5 - 10 minutes. Wrap in clingwrap and leave it to rest for 30 minutes. 

The method I found best/easiest was to break the dough into two pieces. Shape it roughly into a rectangle then put through the largest setting. Dust with flour, fold double and do it again. Repeat 6 times, folding every time. Then start feeding through again without folding, reducing by one setting each time. I get down to 2 before it's too long to deal with comfortably. At this point I cut the sheet in two and feed both pieces through on 1. Then I hang it over the back of a chair and leave for about 5 minutes to dry out a bit before I cut or shape. 

Ravioli

3 Large leeks finely shopped

180g Mozzarella grated

2T Butter 

2 Egg whites

Slowly fry the leeks in the butter until soft but not browned. Allow to cool then mix in the cheese and egg white. Season with salt and pepper. The original recipe called for smoked mozzarella, which I couldn't find, so I used Maldon smoked salt for a slightly different taste, but I don't think it's critical.

The dough gives me four long sheets of lasagna. I dot the bottom half of each sheet with four double rows of the leek mix, then cover with the top sheet. I pinch each dollop carefully, squeezing out the air and sticking the two layers together. Then I press out with my ravioli stamp. Makes 32. 

Chilli Tomato Sauce

2 Chillis chopped up finely

2 Cloves garlic crushed

750g Baby tomatoes

2t Sugar

500 Chicken stock

Heat some olive oil on high then add the tomatoes. Flash fry until the skins split. Turn down the heat, add the garlic and chilli, mash with a potato masher and fry for about 10 minutes. Add the stock and reduce until thick. Season and give it a few whacks with a stick blender but leave it quite chunky.

Basil Cream

100ml Double cream

150ml Chicken stock

30g Basil

Boil the cream and chicken stock together until reduced by half. Add the basil and process with a stick blender until the basil is finely chopped. Pour through a sieve into a clean pot and simmer slowly until nice and thick. 

To Assemble

Boil the ravioli for 4 minutes, drain and immediately add to the tomato sauce. Serve with basil cream drizzled around the edges.

COFFEE CRÈME BRÛLÉE

500ml Double Cream

175ml Full cream milk

30ml Coffee (I used Ricoffy - Lead SA!)

7 Egg yolks

140ml Caster sugar

50g Demerara

Heat the milk, add the coffee and dissolve. Keep warm. Whisk the egg yolks and caster sugar until pale and fluffy. Add the warmed milk and double cream and whisk until smooth. Pour into 6 small coffee cups and put the cups in a roasting tin. Fill with enough boiling water to reach halfway up the sides of the cups. Cook at 120C for about 1 hour 30 - 45 minutes until set. Remove from the water and allow to cool. Chill in the fridge for at least 4 hours. To serve, sprinkle with the demerara and zap with your trusty kitchen torch until caremelised. Do it quickly - you don't want the custard to get warm. 

CHOCOLATE SILK ICE CREAM

3 Egg yolks

1c Sugar

1.5c Full cream milk

2c Cream

1/3c Unsweetened cocoa

1t Vanilla extract

Whisk the egg yolks with the sugar. Add the milk and cook on low for about 10 minutes until it starts to thicken into a custard. Allow to cool completely then add the cream and vanilla extract and sift in the cocoa. Chill in the fridge for about 12 hours or, if you're impatient like me, put it in an ice bath in the fridge for about 4 hours. After that follow your ice cream machine's instructions. 

Can't Cook Won't Cook

I've lost my cooking mojo. My Coojo, if you will. He's in the Pet Sematary. (Well, at least I haven't lost my sense of humour.)

It started with an epic fail. The 2nd of April was my birthday as well as my parents' wedding anniversary so I planned a particularly ambitious menu to bulk package that with an early Easter celebration. I've often failed. Nothing new there. But this was the biggest cooking WTF ever. Everything I touched went to hell.

My parents were supportive and, with amazing restraint, managed not to fall apart laughing. Or puking. I tried to shrug it off, I really did. Until the chocolate mousse melted its way through the grid it was cooling on. It looked like Barbapapa had slipped and fallen through a sewage grill. It was awful.

It didn't help that I don't like birthdays. Every birthday all I hear at full volume is my biological clock tick tick TICKING away. Not the one wanting children. (Bleh, that clock never even struck one). No, the clock that's ticking away year by year is the one waiting and wishing and wanting me to get my shit together. Every birthday all I can think is: "Another year gone and you STILL don't have it together? Really? REALLY??"

The recipes below are from 2 weeks ago. (Tested and repaired subsequently, obviously). I'm still licking my post-birthday wounds so I'm not cooking. You know what I had for dinner on Friday night, my traditional cooking-up-a-storm-night? County Fair Frozen Chicken Nuggets.

Or as they're otherwise known - Misery.

xx
J

PS - Hey Stephen King, get outta my head!! 

INDIVIDUAL BEEF WELLINGTONS
 

Beef Wellington doesn't exactly fall in the quick 'n easy category, but you can follow any recipe for a whole fillet and do a fairly good job. The problem was that I wanted to create individual portions. It's not a new concept, there are lots of recipes out there. But I researched them to hell and back and tried all the tips. Subsequent to that tragic night I even made another 7. If anyone ever tried to make these buggers work it was me. (And my poor parents who probably never want to eat another fillet ever again).

So trust me, if you want to make individual Beef Wellingtons and you don't want big fat unattractive parcels with a choice between undercooked pastry or overcooked beef, this is the only way to go. And I know 130g seems small but it's very filling. If you want to go a little bit bigger, allow to defrost a little longer, but not fully or you're screwed.

4 x 130g Fillet
2T Vegetable oil

2T Olive oil
2T Butter
2T Dijon mustard
2 Shallots finely chopped
350g Mushrooms finely chopped (you can go fancy but button is fine)
1T Thyme
2 Cloves garlic crushed
120ml Sherry
1/2t Truffle oil
400g Puff pastry
1 Egg
Poppy seeds

Season the fillet. Heat the vegetable oil until smoking then quickly sear the steaks and remove from the pan to cool completely. Wrap each one in plastic wrap and freeze. Remove 15 minutes before wrapping in the pastry. (Freezing was my dad's brilliant idea. It's the only way to prevent a small piece of fillet from overcooking while you wait for the pastry to get done).

Melt the butter and olive oil and fry the shallot and garlic until transparent. Add the mushrooms and thyme and continue frying until everything is softened. Turn up the heat, add the sherry and stir until the liquid has evaporated completely. Season then zap it a little with a stick blender but don't pulp it too much. Add the truffle oil and leave to cool completely.

Brush a baking tray with oil. Without washing it use it to brush mustard all over the steaks. Cut the pastry out into four pieces and roll out to about 3 mm thick. Put a quarter of the mushroom mix (duxelle to you fancies out there) in the middle of the pastry. You can wrap it anyway you want but I found it easiest to cut a cross around it, like so:

Wrap firmly but not tightly, brush with egg and sprinkle with poppy seeds. Bake at 180C for 25-30 minutes. Allow to rest for 10 minutes before cutting.  

GRATIN DAUPHINOIS

 

I've loved this wonderful dish since I first learnt it in Home Ec in Std 6. (Sorry about the photo. It was the Beef Wellington night. Photography wasn't high on my list of priorities.) 

 

1kg Potatoes peeled
300ml Milk
250ml Double Cream
2T Butter
2 Cloves of garlic roughly chopped
2T Thyme
1/2t Nutmeg 

 

Heat the milk and cream gently - don't allow it to boil. Add the garlic and 1.5T thyme. Simmer on a low heat for about 3 minutes. Remove from heat and leave to infuse for 20 minutes. Strain, stir in nutmeg and season. Slice the potatoes thinly - about 3mm thick then dry them on a dish towel. Keep a few of the prettier ones aside for the top of the dish. Layer half of the potatoes in a buttered dish. Dot with some butter, season a little and pour over half the milk mixture. Layer the rest of the potatoes, ending with your pretty layer. Pour over the rest of the milk mixture. Season and sprinkle over the rest of the thyme. Bake for 1-1.5 hours at 160C. Keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't get too dark. I covered mine with foil after the first half an hour, then removed the foil again for the last 15 minutes.