The Dog's Bollocks

I know dogs are famous for that whole unconditional love thing. And yes, there's something pretty awesome about the way they think I'm awesome even though they've seen me naked. Unconditional love rocks. I know this, because my mom loves me unconditionally...

Bwahahaha! I just laughed so hard I may have hurt myself. OK, I'm not being entirely fair. My mom DOES love me unconditionally. (As long as I keep the weight off, continue suffering to lose more weight, consider taking up bulimia, wear lipstick even when I'm alone, don't forget I have cheeks, and for God's sake try and find a man before she loses her last shred of dignity.)

So I'm the first one to be grateful for my dogs' absolute acceptance. But for a glass-half-empty-kind-of-girl the dog's bollocks isn't their unconditional love, but their unwavering optimism. It amazes me every day. They're so incessantly and persistently hopeful. If I pick up my tackie at 6 a.m. they go ballistic. Boo bounces up and down like silly putty and Nina turns into a barking biped. For crying in a bloody bucket I have never EVER taken them for a walk at 6 a.m. They're lucky if they get a walk at 5 p.m. But that never stops them from hoping that today might be the day that mommy will stop being a selfish lazy bitch and take us to go smell some poop in the street.

And you know what else is amazing? Once they realise it's not going to happen are they mad? Do they sulk? Do they hold it against me? Nope. They look at me with the same love and adoration and flop back down. (But keep an eye on that tackie, just in case.)

Unconditional love? That's what I feel, every time I look at them. (As long as I don't have to take them for a walk at 6 a.m.)

Oh crap. I've become my mother...

xx

J

PS - Though my dogs are the dog's bollocks they don't actually have bollocks. Be wise, sterilise. And a HUGE shout out to African Tails who are working their tails off to sterilise every dog in the Western Cape.

PPS - Boo wants me to tell you that if he DID have bollocks they would be bigger than my chicken balls. WAY bigger.

STUFFED CHICKEN BALLS

1kg Chicken mince
3 Eggs
3c Breadcrumbs
75g Butter
1 Big clove garlic crushed
1T Oreganum chopped
75g Mozzarella
1T Thyme chopped

Cut the mozzarella into 18 blocks. Mix together the butter, garlic and oreganum and season. Shape into a rectangle and freeze until firm. Cut into 18 blocks. Season the mince and form into 36 balls. Make a dent in each ball then stuff half of them with a block of garlic butter and the other half with a block of mozzarella and a pinch of thyme. Close up and reshape into a ball. Dip into the egg then into the crumbs. Heat oil to medium and fry for about 2 minutes on each side. Always test one before serving to make sure it's cooked through.