Recently, in a moment of madness, I invited my cousin and his husband to dinner. I have no idea what I was thinking. It's not that they're not nice people, but they're practically strangers. I don't think I've seen them more than three times in the last ten years yet somehow coocoo here decides on a whimsical whim to invite her long lost cousin and his spouse over. Of course, I'm fairly certain they were blissfully unaware that they were lost. But theoretically to me they were: I cut ties as vehemently as Freddy Krueger.
You see, when you're born with a self-deprecating gene the size of Texas, or if it's been drilled into you via a Texas-sized oil drill, you assume you belong on Jerry Springer while everyone else belongs on Oprah. I avoid cousins, old friends, hey, even new friends, because I don't want them to find out about my litany of failures and weaknesses.
As it turns out - and this is getting rather annoying - I was proved wrong. Again. I assumed we'd have nothing to say to each other, yet we spoke until almost 3 in the morning. I assumed it would be uncomfortable and awkward but we had a great time. I assumed they'd judge me, think less of me, because I should be richer, thinner, white-picket-fencer. And did they? Maybe. Probably. But they were perfectly bloody nice about it and over the course of the evening they fairly and evenly shared their own imperfections.
And so I learnt a great lesson from my bold invite. We're all a little "pasticciata". A little "messed up". Some more than others, some less. Some might even look like they've got it all together but that's all it is - looks. No one's perfect. (Except Christopher Meloni of course, and both my guests enthusiastically concurred.)
Here's the thing: At the end of the day all we can do is take a chance. Reconnect old ties or reach out to make new ones. Then take all our shit and put it out there. And hope we're liked a little more than we're not.
xx
J
CAREMELISED ONION, SALAMI, OLIVE & CHILLI FLATBREAD
Topping
2 Red onions thinly sliced
2 Chillis chopped
1T Thyme
2t Butter
50ml Castor sugar
10 Black olives pitted and quartered
100g Salami roughly chopped
Fry the onions in the butter until they just start to soften. Add the chillis, thyme and sugar and simmer on low heat for 10-15 minutes until caremelised.
Flatbread
2.5c Flour
4t Salt
2t Castor sugar
10g Dried yeast
1c Warm milk
4t Olive oil
Mix together flour, salt, sugar and yeast. Pour in the milk and oil and mix into a dough, adding more flour if necessary. Leave to rest for about 2 hours. Knock down and shape into four balls, then leave to rest for another 0.5 hour. Shape each ball into an oval then roll out. Fold the edges in to make a thicker border. Cover each one with the topping and bake at 180C for about 10 minutes.
VEAL PASTICCIATA
1kg Veal escalopes (you can use pork or chicken as well)
500g Mushrooms (I used portabellini and button mushrooms)
1 Small onion finely chopped
2 Cloves garlic finely chopped
2.5c Milk
0.5c Cream
100g Butter
75g Flour
150g Ham
400g Mascarpone
You see, when you're born with a self-deprecating gene the size of Texas, or if it's been drilled into you via a Texas-sized oil drill, you assume you belong on Jerry Springer while everyone else belongs on Oprah. I avoid cousins, old friends, hey, even new friends, because I don't want them to find out about my litany of failures and weaknesses.
As it turns out - and this is getting rather annoying - I was proved wrong. Again. I assumed we'd have nothing to say to each other, yet we spoke until almost 3 in the morning. I assumed it would be uncomfortable and awkward but we had a great time. I assumed they'd judge me, think less of me, because I should be richer, thinner, white-picket-fencer. And did they? Maybe. Probably. But they were perfectly bloody nice about it and over the course of the evening they fairly and evenly shared their own imperfections.
And so I learnt a great lesson from my bold invite. We're all a little "pasticciata". A little "messed up". Some more than others, some less. Some might even look like they've got it all together but that's all it is - looks. No one's perfect. (Except Christopher Meloni of course, and both my guests enthusiastically concurred.)
Here's the thing: At the end of the day all we can do is take a chance. Reconnect old ties or reach out to make new ones. Then take all our shit and put it out there. And hope we're liked a little more than we're not.
xx
J
CAREMELISED ONION, SALAMI, OLIVE & CHILLI FLATBREAD
Topping
2 Red onions thinly sliced
2 Chillis chopped
1T Thyme
2t Butter
50ml Castor sugar
10 Black olives pitted and quartered
100g Salami roughly chopped
Fry the onions in the butter until they just start to soften. Add the chillis, thyme and sugar and simmer on low heat for 10-15 minutes until caremelised.
Flatbread
2.5c Flour
4t Salt
2t Castor sugar
10g Dried yeast
1c Warm milk
4t Olive oil
Mix together flour, salt, sugar and yeast. Pour in the milk and oil and mix into a dough, adding more flour if necessary. Leave to rest for about 2 hours. Knock down and shape into four balls, then leave to rest for another 0.5 hour. Shape each ball into an oval then roll out. Fold the edges in to make a thicker border. Cover each one with the topping and bake at 180C for about 10 minutes.
VEAL PASTICCIATA
1kg Veal escalopes (you can use pork or chicken as well)
500g Mushrooms (I used portabellini and button mushrooms)
1 Small onion finely chopped
2 Cloves garlic finely chopped
2.5c Milk
0.5c Cream
100g Butter
75g Flour
150g Ham
2c Fontina/Gruyère/Mozarella
Fry the onion and garlic in 25g butter for about 5 minutes. Add the mushrooms and stir to coat, then cover with a lid and allow to cook slowly for 5-10 minutes until softened. Add the rest of the butter and fry until melted, then add the flour and stir for 2 minutes, ensuring it doesn't burn. Add the milk very slowly, whisking as you go along, to form a thick mushroom sauce. Add the cream and season with salt and lots of black pepper.
Fry the escalopes on high heat to seal and season. Place side by side into a large ovenproof dish. Cover each piece of veal with ham, cutting the ham to fit the shape of the escalope. Sprinkle over the Fontina and pour over the mushroom sauce. Bake at 200C for about 10 minutes, making sure it doesn't burn. Serve with fettucini and wilted spinach.
MINI TIRAMISU
Fry the onion and garlic in 25g butter for about 5 minutes. Add the mushrooms and stir to coat, then cover with a lid and allow to cook slowly for 5-10 minutes until softened. Add the rest of the butter and fry until melted, then add the flour and stir for 2 minutes, ensuring it doesn't burn. Add the milk very slowly, whisking as you go along, to form a thick mushroom sauce. Add the cream and season with salt and lots of black pepper.
Fry the escalopes on high heat to seal and season. Place side by side into a large ovenproof dish. Cover each piece of veal with ham, cutting the ham to fit the shape of the escalope. Sprinkle over the Fontina and pour over the mushroom sauce. Bake at 200C for about 10 minutes, making sure it doesn't burn. Serve with fettucini and wilted spinach.
MINI TIRAMISU
400g Mascarpone
3 Eggs
1/4c Castor sugar
150g Lady fingers
1/4c Hot espresso
160ml Coffee liqueur
2 Leaves gelatin
I used mini cake tins, lining just the bottom with some foil. Since they're only about 10cm in diameter I cut my lady fingers in half and then sliced it horizontally too. I still had to break little bits off to fill the holes which was a bit of a pain but it turned out well worth it.
Whip the eggs and castor sugar for at least 10 minutes until light and frothy. Whip 250g of the mascarpone until smooth then lightly beat into the eggs and sugar until just mixed. Soak the gelatin leaves in cold water for about 5 minutes. Pour 100ml of the liqueur into the coffee then add the gelatin and stir until melted. Brush the bottom of the cake tin with the coffee syrup. Lay down a layer of lady fingers and paint again. Pour over about 1cm of the mascarpone mixture. Lightly paint it with more of the syrup and continue with two more layers, ending with a layer of mascarpone. Whip together the other 150g of mascarpone with the other 60ml of liqueur until smooth then smooth over the top of the cakes. Cover and refridgerate overnight. When ready to serve put a knife into boiling water for a few seconds then slide around the sides to loosen and tip onto a plate.
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