The Motion of the Ocean

They say "It's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean". They're of course saying this to make men feel better about their inadequate, erm, boats. After all, it's not the type of boat that matters, apparently, but how you steer it. (But may I state a preference for a fibreglass hull rather than a rubber duck?)

That said, for once my head isn't in the gutter. My metaphor refers to the man, not his boat. You see, some guys are like those speedboats or powerboats or whatever you call them that the celebrities hang out on. You know the ones you see on the French Riviera or around the Greek Isles. They're sexy and fast and slick and even if you don't know your boat from your ship you'd be blind and/or on crack not to admire them and even to salivate a bit.

And then there are some guys that don't initially make your ovaries drop. They're like the sailing boat wading through the water. The catamaran drifting in the bay. The West Coast fishing boat bobbing on the waves. It's not the vroom or the vavavavoom that gets you - it's the way they make you feel. As if you're lying on the deck looking at the blue blue sky rocking to and fro with the waves lapping against the sides. The quietness and calm they bring inside you. The hope and upliftment they promise. Like a pocket full of air in an airless life.

That's what some guys do. And before you know it, all you're doing is staring out at the ocean hoping to see a mast appear on the horizon.

Oh how I wish you were here this week to soothe my soul...

xx

J

PRAWN SPRING ROLLS WITH VIETNAMESE DIPPING SAUCE

350g Prawns peeled and chopped up
1/2c Coleslaw mix (cabbage and carrot)
1 Clove garlic crushed
2 Spring onions chopped 
1/2 Lime zest and juice
1/2 Chilli deseeded and chopped
1/2c Shiitake mushrooms
2T Kikkoman soya sauce
1/2t Sesame oil
1/4t Sugar
1/4t Black pepper
1 Small egg separated
12 Large springroll wrappers (10")

Cover the mushrooms with warm water and soak for about 20 minutes until soft then chop up finely. Blanch the coleslaw mix in boiling water for a couple of minutes then drain and rinse with cold water. Mix together all the ingredients except for the yolk.

Lay your wrapper pointed side up like a diamond. Brush the top and side corners with yolk. Spoon about 3T of the mix onto the middle of the wrapper horizontally. Bring the two side corners into the middle. Bring the bottom unyolked corner in and roll up towards the top one. Fold over and seal. 

Deep fry at 175C for about 2-3 minutes each side until nicely browned. Serve with dipping sauce.

Vietnamese Dipping Sauce

20ml Sugar
20ml Fish sauce
20ml White vinegar
1/4 Lime zest and juice
2 Cloves garlic crushed
1 Chilli deseeded and chopped

Dissolve the sugar in 45ml warm water. Allow to cool then add the rest of the ingredients.

DEEP FRIED CALAMARI WITH LEMON GARLIC MAYONNAISE

My dad and I painstakingly tested four different methods to bring you the best deep fried calamari.

Clockwise from top left: Floured then into icewater; Flour/egg/water batter; Floured then refrigerated; Floured then into egg. The winner, unanimously, was the last one.

500g Calamari tubes cut into 1cm rings
250g Flour
1/2t Cayenne pepper
1/2t Smoked paprika
1/2t Salt
2 Eggs whisked

Heat the oil to 180C. Mix together the flour and seasoning. Dip the rings into the flour mixture, then the egg, then straight into the oil. Fry for 2-3 minutes, drain on kitchen towel then serve with lemon garlic mayonnaise.  

Lemon Garlic Mayonnaise

4T Mayonnaise (creamy, not tart)
1/2 Lemon juice only
2 Cloves garlic crushed
3 Sprigs dill chopped

Mix together and season to taste.