Mac 'n Wheeze

What the hell is it with this weather?! What horrific hell IS this weather? It's been 30-gazillion degrees for four days without letting up. And I've been driving around between Tokai and Milnerton in my airconless car. You have no idea how hot plastic seats get. I don't know what the temperature is in there but I'm convinced I've started emanating a faint smell of steak by now. 

To add to my appeal I look like those women in the movies who are in the final hours of giving birth. Hair sticking to a face slick with sweat, flushed as a cooked crayfish, wheezing and panting like a geriatric dog. And like those birthing mothers I've also developed a mild case of Tourettes and taken to screaming at complete strangers...

I've got nothing against Global Warming I just don't want it to happen where I'm at. Why can't it be endemic to North Korea or Iraq or Bloemfontein? Better yet, why did I have to have my one measly little life during this tortuous period of Global Warming and not during the lovely refreshing Ice Age? I can already picture it. Christmas 365 days a year, fires and furs and fiery furry cavemen. Woolly mammoth rib eye steaks with mushroom sherry sauce. Giant ground sloth stew with pearl onions and baby potatoes.

I know. It makes no sense. Where would I get vegetables during the Ice Age? How would Ork and I fight off the sabre tooth tigers? Most importantly, how would I survive without alcohol? I know, it makes no sense. 

But @#*!% OFF I'M @#*!% HOT OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xx

J     

PRAWNS WRAPPED IN POTATO RIBBONS

Jenny and Ati bought a Spyro-Gyro which turns vegetables into linguine like strips. Their raw-food-eating friend used it to spyro sweet potato into "pasta". I tried it with butternut. And got spastic colon. But then I did it with potato. Wrapped around prawns. Deepfried. NOW you're talking!!

1 Spyro-Gyro (I can't see how you can do this manually unless you're dead bored)

10 Prawns decapitated peeled cleaned but leave tail on

1 Large potato peeled

1t Turmeric

1/2t Peri-peri

1/4c Sweet chilli sauce

Marinade the prawns in the turmeric, peri-peri, salt, pepper and a cup of water for half an hour. Create potato ribbons then wrap around each prawn, tying the ends like a bow. Heat the oil until pretty hot then carefully lower into the oil and fry for about a minute. Drain and serve with sweet chilli sauce. 

MAC 'N CHEESE

500g Macaroni

500g Bacon chopped and fried until crispy

2 Tins tomatoes

1/4c Fresh basil / 2t Dried basil

2 Cloves garlic crushed

8T Butter

1/2c Flour

5.5c Milk

1/4t Nutmeg

1/4t English mustard

1/4t Black pepper

1/4t Cayenne pepper

1.5c Breadcrumbs

4.5c Cheddar cheese grated

1.5c Pecorino grated

Bring the tomatoes, basil and garlic to a boil then turn down to simmer and reduce for about 20 minutes. Season well. Butter a baking dish and spread the tomato in the bottom. Cook the macaroni until almost done. When draining do it with cold water to prevent it from cooking further - you want it a tad undercooked. Melt 6T butter then add the flour and cook for a couple of minutes. Add a little of the milk and whisk. Keep adding and whisking until you have a smooth white sauce then add the spices and season. Stir in 3c cheddar and 1c Pecorino until melted. Add the macaroni, then the bacon and mix well. Pour over the tomato spread. Sprinkle over the rest of the cheese then top with the crumbs. Melt the other 2T butter and drizzle over. Bake for about 20 minutes at 375F then check and cover with foil if required. Bake for another 10 minutes. Allow to stand for at least 10 minutes before serving.