Exerfries

My parents bought me a deep fryer for Xmas. It must have been a parental Freudian slip. These are the same people who used to drop subtle hints about liposuction ("you REALLY should get liposuction") and created shrewd little games to inspire healthy eating ("we'll PAY you to lose weight").

Of course this new toy will have to mean more exercise. And it would have been nice not to have to do it on the "dreadmill". I always thought if I got dogs we'd be romping on the beach or ambling through the forest but thanks to my one dog's diabetes we're limited to short walks around the neighbourhood. Which would have counted as exercise if they would just walk like normal dogs. But no.

The first 100 metres my collarbone gets a workout as I try to balance out Boo the husky (who thinks I'm a sleigh) with Nina the portly Alsatian mix (who thinks I'm a tugboat). Once that's over we move onto the eyeball workout. Because that's the only part of me that gets any exercise. Step step sniff. Step step sniff. Sigh. Step step. Sniff. Sigh. I lose more calories rolling round in my sleep. The only place I might lose some weight would be in my spine since Boo has recently taken to the multipoo aka the droppabloc, which means a lot of bending and stretching with poo bags on every second corner.

So I guess the treadmill it will have to be. Because if that deep fryer's getting a workout, I'm sure as hell going to need one too!

Oh and Mom and dad - I think you buying me a fattening kitchen implement means you put what would make me happy ahead of your fat-daughter-fears. And I truly love you for that.

xx

J

PRAWN & VEGETABLE TEMPURA

Tempura recipes are a bit annoying. You see, you need a bloody yolk, but then the ratio of flour/water to that requires you to make tempura for an army. Army guys are hot but they drink a lot. So it's cheaper to throw away most of the yolk.

12 Prawns - Shelled and deveined but keep the tail on it looks nice

1 Red pepper - Cut into 12 thumb sized pieces

3 Baby marrows - Sliced lengthwise into 12 pieces
1.5t Egg yolk
175ml Ice water
100g Flour

2T Soy sauce

1T Sherry

1T Rice wine vinegar

2T Spring onion finely sliced

2T Water.

Mix together the soy, sherry, vinegar, spring onion and water to make the dip. Heat oil to 
180C. Whisk the yolk into the ice water then add the flour (don't worry if it's lumpy). Dip the veg/prawns into the batter then immediately into the oil. Give it about 1-2 minutes (it's not supposed to be dark) then drain and serve immediately. 

FRIED CHICKEN AND COLESLAW

Marinade 

4 Chicken thighs
4 Chicken drumsticks
500ml Cream
2 Eggs
4 Cloves garlic crushed
1/2t Paprika
1 Chilli chopped
1 Spring onion sliced
1t Dried thyme
1 Lemon - juice only

Put everything into a large ziplog bag and massage it together. Leave to marinade overnight. 

Fried Chicken

2c Flour

1t Salt
1/2t Black pepper
1/2t Paprika
1/2t Cayenne

Mix together all the ingredients and put into a bowl. Remove the chicken from the marinade. Take the chicken pieces, dip into the flour, back into the marinade then back into the flour, creating a double crust. Deep fry at 150C for around 15 minutes. 

Coleslaw 

1c Red coleslaw thinly sliced
1c Green coleslaw thinly sliced
3 Carrots grated
3 Spring Onions sliced
1c Mayonnaise
1T Wholegrain mustard

Mix everything together and season. Try to make it a few hours before, it gets better once the flavours develop.