My Bête Noire

I've been friends with Allison for about 7 years. I've moved up in the ranks to the point where I'm officially her second best friend. As for Chloé, she was just a little snot of 8 or so when I met her. Now she's about to have her sweet sixteenth and she's growing into a lovely woman with a wicked sense of humour. What I'm trying to convey here is, these people aren't strangers. And trust me, they've seen the worst of me so they're fully cognisant of my twatness, as Chloé calls it. Which is a good thing because when I invited them to my house for dinner for the first time in 7 years, that twatness came out in full fanatical force.  

Let's start with the starter. It had to be prawns because Chloé likes prawns. So naturally I had to test out four different prawn recipes, right? Normal people generally eat up a 750g bag of prawns in order to find the right recipe for which they then have to go out and buy another 750g bag of prawns because they don't have any left with which to make it. (At least it allowed me to scratch off one memorable kebab recipe with a rather unique taste that was later revealed to be caused by the sandalwood incense stick I mistook for a wooden skewer...)

 

For the main I decided to have a fondue with healthy sides of chips and garlic bread. And a fondue needs sauces right? So I made 5 sauces of 500ml each. And 200g of meat seems adequate right? So I got 200g of beef. And 200g of chicken. And 200g of chipolatas. EACH. 

 

So to recap, for 3 people, I had 750g of chips, 0.5m of garlic bread, 2.5L of sauce and 1.8kg of meat. I feared they might still be hungry afterwards so I made Bête Noire - it means Black Beast and it will give your scale nightmares. Surprisingly, they had to take a doggy bag...

Aside from being the Jeffrey Dahmer of chocolate desserts, Bête Noire is also a way to describe something or someone that causes fear or dread without reason. You know, I may be wrong, but I suspect my Bête Noire (twatness?) is undercatering. That said, I really should have had meatballs too. Or maybe mushrooms. Definitely mushrooms...

 

xx

J

PRAWN & LEEK SAMOOSAS

 

 

20 Prawns chopped up

3 Baby leeks sliced

1T Dried dill

Juice of large lemon

1/4c Cheddar 

1/2c Sour cream

2 Sheets phyllo

 

Fry the leeks in butter until soft. Add the prawns, dill and lemon and fry until slightly browned. Add the sour cream and cheddar and fry until liquid has been absorbed. Season and allow to cool completely. Butter the first phyllo sheet, cover with the second, butter then slice lengthwise in three. Add a 6th of the prawn mixture on one end and keep folding over until you have a samoosa. Repeat with the rest. Bake at 200C for about 15 minutes but watch carefully so it doesn't burn. Serve with lemon.    

 

FONDUE SAUCES

Cheese Sauce

1/4c Butter

1/4c Flour

1.5c Milk

1/2c Cream

1/2c Cheddar and/or Gouda

Pinch cayenne

Pinch nutmeg

Melt the butter. Add the flour and fry for a minute. Slowly add the milk to make a thick white sauce. Add the cheese, cayenne, nutmeg, cream and season.

Pepper Sauce

1/4c Butter

1/4c Flour

1/4c Beef stock

1T Brandy or 1/2t Brandy essence

3/4c Milk

1c Creme Fraiche

2T Green peppercorns bashed

Melt the butter, add the peppercorns and fry for a couple of minutes. Add the flour and fry for a minute. Slowly add the milk, brandy and beef stock to make a thick sauce. Add the creme fraiche and season. 

 

Mustard Sauce

1/4c Butter

1/4c Flour 

2T "Kids" mustard

1T Wholegrain mustard

1c Milk

1c Sour Cream

Melt the butter. Add the flour and fry for a minute. Slowly add the milk to make a thick white sauce. Add the mustard, sour cream and season. (I used Steers mustard but any sweetish mustard will do).

 

Garlic Mayo Sauce

1c Nola Mayo (or other tangy mayo)

1c Hellmans Mayo (or other plain mayo)

1t Condensed milk

8 Cloves garlic crushed

1T Parsley chopped

Mix all together and season.

Marie Rose Sauce

1c Nola Mayo (or other tangy mayo)

1c Hellmans Mayo (or other plain mayo)

1t Condensed milk

2T Tomato sauce

1T Worcestershire sauce

1t Lemon juice

1/2t Tabasco sauce

1t Brandy or drop Brandy essence

Mix all together and season. 

BÊTE NOIRE

This can be made as one big tart, but I split the recipe in half and filled 4 baking rings with the mixture. I'll give the recipe for the whole one though - it's a lot less effort!

 

Cake

3/4c Sugar

9T Butter

5 Slabs Bournville

6 Eggs

Ganache

1c Heavy whipping cream

3 Slabs Bournville

Butter a springform pan/baking rings. Line the bottom with buttered wax paper. Wrap the whole pan/rings with 3 layers of foil. (If you want to do it right don't cheat and do less layers, or use less chocolate for that matter!) Simmer sugar with 1c water until fully dissolved - cool. Melt the butter over low heat and add the chocolate. Whisk until smooth. Add the sugar syrup and cool slightly. Add the eggs and whisk until well blended. Pour batter into pan/rings. Put in a roasting pan and add enough hot water to come halfway up the sides. Bake at 350F and check after 35 minutes if you're doing half, 45 minutes if you're doing whole. A toothpick must come out mostly clean don't worry if it still looks like it's not done. Cool completely. Bring cream to a simmer then add the chocolate and whisk until smooth. Pour over the cooled cake and refrigerate for at least 2 hours. I then dunked it up to its sides in boiling water for 20s or so then it just slid out onto the plate. You can serve it with cream, Rennies and/or Eno.