'Tis the Reason

It looks like Santa threw up in my house. Tinsel, holly, Rudolph, his cousins, snow globes and lights lights everywhere. Thank God I don't have epilepsy or I'd be in serious trouble. As it is the flashing is making me kinda paranoid. The lights in the lounge are stationary so the kitchen lights should be flashing. Or should they? I'm sure they've been flashing. Almost convinced. But tonight? No flashing. Or are they? Do they wait and then do it when I blink??...

There's a reason why I've been going decorating bedonnerd. I LOVE Xmas. When it comes I want to hang onto it with both arms and wrap my legs around it. (Funny, I'm sure I said the exact same thing about Bruce Willis...) Yes, the shops are crazy and I want to kill everyone but that's what I have tranquilisers for. Yes, the recession has taken hold and I can't spend as much as I want but that's what I have tranquillisers for. Yes, when I think about it I have absolutely nothing to be happy about but that's what I have tranquillisers for. 

But at Xmas, despite everything that sucks, somehow - I don't know how - everyone's inner happy gets triggered. Strangers talk to strangers and suddenly it's OK to be silly happy and it's just so nice! Not everyone is equally affected, some people might only experience a low hum instead of a loud brrrrring, but even the assholes act differently. And maybe it's just a Pavlovian reaction to flashing lights and garish decorations. But I like to believe, (like to fool myself anyway), that it's because Xmas really is special.

So that's my reason for turning my house into a Xmas cliché. Because Valentine's Day: People finding true love? Bullshit! Easter: Bunnies delivering chocolate eggs? Bullshit! But Xmas? Fat creepy dude sliding down a chimney the size of his left thigh? Now THAT's something I can see myself reading about on News24!

xx

J

PINK PEPPERCORN FILLET WITH VEGETABLE HALLOUMI KEBABS

This picture shows a crappy rump but I'll get a beautiful fillet for Xmas Eve. The kebabs are Jamie Oliver's. We've had our differences and I hardly ever get excited about vegetarian recipes but I have to say - this one made my heart beat faster - it's really pretty awesome!

Pink Peppercorn Sauce

1 Carrot chopped

1 Celery stick chopped

1/2 Onion chopped

1 Clove garlic crushed

1/2t Thyme (dried is fine)

1/3c Pink peppercorns

1/2c Sherry

1c White wine

1/2c Chicken stock

1c Double cream

Cover the peppercorns with ice water and bring to the boil. Strain. Cover the peppercorns with 1/2c white wine and bring to the boil. Strain. Fry the carrot, celery, onion and garlic until soft. Add the sherry, scrape up the bits and reduce by half. Add half the peppercorns and zap everything until smooth. Add the wine, stock and cream and bring to the boil. If necessary thicken with Maizena. Before serving add the rest of the peppercorns.

Vegetable Halloumi Kebabs

36 Cherry tomatoes

200g Halloumi cheese cut into 36 pieces (do 6 x 6 that's easiest)

2 Red peppers cut into 36 pieces

4 Courgettes peeled into 36 ribbons

1/2c Mint chopped

1 Chilli chopped

1 Lemon

Skewer cheese, marrow, tomato, then pepper x 12. Marinade in mint, chilli, lemon and 1/4c olive oil for a few hours. Grill or braai.