Pies for Peace

I never really despair about or think about world relations. I despair at the sight of my face in the mirror, my weight on the scale, my invoices waiting to be done, my sex life, the fear that I might hurt myself rolling on the floor laughing about my sex life. I swear. When oh when must I have time for the world's relations?

Picture putting an Iraqi and an American in a room. What do you imagine they're talking about? I'm sure normal people would imagine they're either beating each other to a pulp or having a deeply intellectual debate about the war. Me? I'd like to imagine the Iraqi explaining to the American that a true kebab is like having a burger on a stick, not a cut up steak on a stick. And the American would tell the Iraqi about this incredible spice called Spike and how it could enhance the kebab without it losing its authenticity.

Can food transcend geographical, political & racial lines? No. DUH. How much Vicks Medi-Nite do you think I drank?! (How much Vicks Medi-Nite do you think we have to feed the world before it COULD??)

But today, still feeling sick and also fragile from yesterday's gastronomical disasters, I didn't want to go for hard, I wanted to go for good. I wanted to go for plain and simple and warm. And there's something about mince and mash that just makes me feel good. So I chose Cottage Pie.

And inadvertently, serendipitously, learnt that the world is a wonderful place.

I bet you knew that Cottage Pie is similar to Shepherd's Pie. They're both kinda English/Irish. But did you know that there's a similar dish in France called Hachis Parmentier? Being French they jazz it up but it's the same old thing. And the Americans? They have the same thing, they just call it Cowboy Pie. The South Americans have really cool names for it – the Argentineans call it Pastel De Papa, the Brazilians call it Bolo De Batata. The Lebanese call it Kibbet Batata. And the Russians call it (altogether now) Картофельная запеканка.

How cool is that. We can fight like cat and dog but way down, way down at stomach level, you put mash on top of mince and it makes us all feel good, no matter who we are or where we're from.

I swear. They should put it in the water. Of course then the water would look like shit. Then no one would drink water. We'd all dehydrate. We'd go mad. We'd be at war. We'd all die.

All because of ... The simple Cottage Pie.

xx

J

COTTAGE PIE

700g mince

8 shallots, chopped

2 garlic cloves, crushed

3 carrots, chopped

4 sprigs thyme

2 bay leaves

2T tomato puree

50ml worcestershire sauce

200ml red wine

350ml chicken stock

200g frozen peas

6 medium potatoes

100ml milk

3T butter

2 egg yolks

Fry shallots and garlic in butter and oil until soft. Add the carrots and fry for another couple of minutes. Add the thyme, bay leaf and mince and fry until meat browned. Add tomato puree, Worcester sauce, wine and chicken stock and simmer for 30 minutes. (I read somewhere on the Internet that you should always use chicken stock with beef and beef stock with chicken, and as you know, one should ALWAYS trust what one reads on the Internet).

Add the peas and season and, depending on the amount of liquid left, some maizena to make a thickish but not dry sauce. Remove thyme sticks and bay leaves.

Make the mash. Add two egg yolks to make the mash rich and brown and crusty. (PS - You want to know the secret of mash? Add a teaspoon of baking powder. It'll change your life. Trust me.) 

Heat oven to 180C, put mash on top of mince mix (scribble to make it look good) and bake for 30 minutes. Allow to stand for 5 minutes to settle.

Eat and go forth in peace.