I have de flu. My dose is blocked and my head frobbs. Since dere's no one to give me sympitty I have to mudder myself...
And what could be more comforting than soup. (And gin.) Chicken Soup for flu is SO last season so I decided to try Tuscan White Bean Soup. Now let me make something clear. I don't do legumes. In fact, I do most vegetables reluctantly. To me a plate of food is a bit like a good rock band. I know it has band members on the side that need to be there for something or other but all I care about is the meat in the middle. I mean, who knows/cares about anyone but Steven Tyler in Aerosmith. Or Adam Levine in Maroon Five. Or Jay Kay in Jamiroquai. Occasionally you have a potato on the side, in which case you have a Rolling Stones meal - Mick Jagger's the man but Keith Richards is pretty cool. You see? (Hmmm, maybe one shouldn't mix Vicks Medi-Nite and Degoran and Gin but I'm sick OK!)
Anyhoo, that was all background to explain how I ended up at war with white kidney beans. I researched the bastards. I soaked them, boiled them, simmered them, coddled them in my sickly snotty state. According to my lovely (stupid) recipe they will then only need another hour of simmering to become beautiful tender little beans. HA! They had the consistency of gallstones. So I whipped out my trusty presto and whacked them for another hour. An hour's presto will make a bicycle wheel tender. Yet these guys were like OK, you can bite through me now but if you think I'm going mushy you can bite me. Unbelievable.
That said, the soup was pretty awesome. I haven't been to Tuscany but I'm convinced it tasted Tuscany. Nutty and comforting and the chilli/garlic combo on top was like a gastronomic hot toddy. I've amended the instructions to go straight to the quick fix.
But hark, my failure for the day was not complete. For what is soup without bread? Lovely crusty country bread. So I baked one. I kneaded with passion and allowed it to rise on three separate occasions with gleeful anticipation. And what do I get for all that hard work and dedication? A bleddy weapon. You want the recipe? Here it is. GO TO SPAR.
In the wise words of the Rolling Stones, my favourite meat & potato combo:
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter
of a mother's little helper
Next time I need mothering I'll just stick to the gin and the chemicals.
xx
J
TUSCAN WHITE BEAN SOUP
500g white kidney beans - soak overnight, changing water a few times
And what could be more comforting than soup. (And gin.) Chicken Soup for flu is SO last season so I decided to try Tuscan White Bean Soup. Now let me make something clear. I don't do legumes. In fact, I do most vegetables reluctantly. To me a plate of food is a bit like a good rock band. I know it has band members on the side that need to be there for something or other but all I care about is the meat in the middle. I mean, who knows/cares about anyone but Steven Tyler in Aerosmith. Or Adam Levine in Maroon Five. Or Jay Kay in Jamiroquai. Occasionally you have a potato on the side, in which case you have a Rolling Stones meal - Mick Jagger's the man but Keith Richards is pretty cool. You see? (Hmmm, maybe one shouldn't mix Vicks Medi-Nite and Degoran and Gin but I'm sick OK!)
Anyhoo, that was all background to explain how I ended up at war with white kidney beans. I researched the bastards. I soaked them, boiled them, simmered them, coddled them in my sickly snotty state. According to my lovely (stupid) recipe they will then only need another hour of simmering to become beautiful tender little beans. HA! They had the consistency of gallstones. So I whipped out my trusty presto and whacked them for another hour. An hour's presto will make a bicycle wheel tender. Yet these guys were like OK, you can bite through me now but if you think I'm going mushy you can bite me. Unbelievable.
That said, the soup was pretty awesome. I haven't been to Tuscany but I'm convinced it tasted Tuscany. Nutty and comforting and the chilli/garlic combo on top was like a gastronomic hot toddy. I've amended the instructions to go straight to the quick fix.
But hark, my failure for the day was not complete. For what is soup without bread? Lovely crusty country bread. So I baked one. I kneaded with passion and allowed it to rise on three separate occasions with gleeful anticipation. And what do I get for all that hard work and dedication? A bleddy weapon. You want the recipe? Here it is. GO TO SPAR.
In the wise words of the Rolling Stones, my favourite meat & potato combo:
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter
of a mother's little helper
Next time I need mothering I'll just stick to the gin and the chemicals.
xx
J
TUSCAN WHITE BEAN SOUP
500g white kidney beans - soak overnight, changing water a few times
0.5 pack back bacon
1 onion, quartered
1 onion, quartered
1 celery stalk, big chunks
1 carrot, big chunks
2 cloves garlic, peeled & bruised
1 carrot, big chunks
2 cloves garlic, peeled & bruised
1 bay leaf
1.25l chicken stock
Chilli flakes, garlic & parmesan
Chilli flakes, garlic & parmesan
Place everything except the last item in a presto pot and whack it for at least half an hour. Check it, maybe you're luckier than I am. Keep going until they're tender. Remove from the heat and allow to cool in the liquid. NB - Do not add salt to beans until completely done, it will only escalate the war.
I like a thick soup so I poured out excess liquid until the level was just above my solids. If you like it thinner you can leave in more liquid. Puree with a couple of tablespoons of olive oil then push through a sieve. You'll have a beautiful smooth bean porridge. Fry crushed garlic and chilli flakes in olive oil and drizzle on top. Sprinkle with parmesan. Serve with Spar bread.
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