Perfect Pie

I love chicken pie. Unfortunately I need a chicken pie like I need a hole in the head. Or sex with Colin Farrell - in the short term it'll be yum but in the long term I know I'll probably end up with unwanted growth...

This is where my dad comes in. To him chicken pie is the holy grail and, by making it for him, I get to have some AND I get to be titled Most Amazing Daughter.

Although I've researched pies for years my basic recipe stays pretty much the same because, well, because it's awesome and because, to me, a chicken pie needs to be more Johanna Olivier than Jamie Oliver. There is a contender for awesome pie though - my dad's sister - Aunty Suzy. For years I've heard about her chicken pie. Recently at her 70th birthday party I asked her for the recipe. There was prevarication, reluctance and deflection but I stood firm and wrung the recipe from her unyielding hands. Or rather, some vague tips with the rest to be filled in by my imagination, but it had to do.

Yesterday I went home to visit the parents and, since Father's Day is coming up, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to pit chicken pie against chicken pie:

AUNTY SUZY'S CHICKEN PIE

Spice 2 whole chickens, stick half a lemon up each ass, pour olive oil on top, pour in 2 cups of water and put in the oven at 200C for 0.5 hour. Turn down to 150C for another 1.5 hours. Debone, discarding skin and icky bits. Sieve what's left in the pan and set juices aside. Once the fat has cooled spoon it off. Add enough water to juices to total about 3.25 cups and put in a pot with 4T sago. Allow to simmer until sago is translucent. Add about 2T Bisto and 3T maizena until sauce has thickened (it must plop, not pour). Mix with chicken, slap on the pastry, eggwash and bake at 160C for 0.5 Hour.

MY CHICKEN PIE

Put 2 whole chickens in a presto pot. Add 3 broken carrots, 2 broken celery sticks, 1 quartered onion, 6 bay leaves, 1t whole peppercorns, salt & pepper and 3 cups water. Presto for an hour. Debone, discarding skin, icky bits and veg. Sieve what's left in the pot and set juices aside. Once the fat has called spoon it off. Put juices in a pot with 4T sago. Allow to simmer until sago is translucent. Add or throw away juice until you have about 2 cups left. Melt 4T butter in a pot. Add 4T flour and heat a bit. Slowly add a cup of milk while stirring, then add the juices until you have a thick white sauce, (it must plop, not pour). Mix with chicken, slap on the pastry, eggwash and bake at 160C for 0.5 Hour.

Note 1: Chickens come in different sizes and anyway, I generally eyeball the amount of sauce required and what it takes to thicken it. Use your discretion people!

Note 2: Since I wanted to compare apples to apples I didn't add anything else to my pie. However, I usually fry up a chopped onion and a punnet of mushrooms and mix that in with the chicken. I also add that juice to the chicken juices before reducing it to 3 cups.

Tip: There's nothing that pisses me off as much as spooning fat off juices. It's great if you have time to wait for the fat to thicken but I usually don't. Wait for juices to cool a bit then pour it into a ziploc bag. Keep your pot ready next to the sink. Hold the bag over the pot with a corner pointing down and you'll see the fat will settle at the top, the juices at the bottom. Cut a small piece off and let the juices run out into the pot. When it gets close to the fat part just quickly dump the bag in the sink and you're sorted! (PS - Don't do this if you've been drinking!)

I decorated the pies differently so we could tell them apart when the judging began.

The moment arrived. My dad inhaled about a quarter of mine and a quarter of Aunty Suzy's while I waited in breathless anticipation. "So?" I asked. He returned a blank gaze. "So how IS IT". "Oh!" he says, "delicious!". "Yes, but WHICH ONE!" Blank gaze. "They're different? Really? I didn't notice..."

Now I get how addicts don't notice someone put omo in their coke or tea in their dope. Like my dad, they could care less they're just so damn happy they got their fix. Which, I guess, is more important than who won.

xx
J

PS - I did