Fish What Fish

I'm not a fish person. Bleh. It might have something to do with growing up in Saldanha where everything on my plate for the first 12 years of my life, however disguised, when poked, prodded and investigated, contained fish. Ironically it also conjures up the rather quaint memory of fishing trawlers dragging their gunk onto the beach about 10 metres from my bedroom window. We'd storm down there trembling with an irrepressible morbid attraction to the fish and, best of all, jellyfish and octopus. (Octopi? Octopussies?) It's a charming memory, but floppy fish don't exactly inspire gastronomical attraction. 

So I was rather surprised when I awoke this morning with a craving for fish pie. No, I'm not pregnant. I have, however, recently slapped eyes on someone that I believe could probably impregnate me if he breathed too close to my ear. You think that's funny? It's not. The Incubus is alive and well and inspecting the condiments in Pick 'n Pay. There are dangerous creatures out there people, and not just the types dragged in by fishing trawlers. (Beware, above all, of the ones that AREN'T floppy...) 

While we're on a roll with the fishing theme, what sexually repressed individual thought I'd be comforted or inspired by the platitude that there are plenty of fish in the sea?! Who wants a fish? For God's sake, give me something to cling to, some hope, some sense of anticipation!! You want to inspire me? Try this:

There are plenty of lions in the veld!
There are plenty of crocs in the river!!
There are plenty of grizzlies in the woods!!!

And as for fish being plentiful? Yeah right. Except for the floppy with the charminq quirk of winking after every joke, or the one sniffing to the side, or the one wearing tassled shoes, or, God help me, the one called Norman.

Here's what I do with the likes of you:

SAFFRON & DILL FISH PIE

1.25l milk
1 onion, chopped
1 bay leaf
4 peppercorns
400g haddock
400g hake
75g butter
75g flour
1T parsley
1.2kg potatoes
Pinch saffron
75g butter
250ml cream
1T dill

Put milk (I used fat-free), onion, bay leaf and peppercorns into pot, bring to the boil then simmer for 10 minutes to infuse. Pour milk over the raw fish and simmer for 10 minutes. Once done, take out fish but keep milk. Remove skin and bones if required and break into big pieces.

Melt butter, add flour, cook for a minute then add flavoured milk to make a thick white sauce. Add more milk if required. Add parsley and season. Mix with fish.

Make mash, this is a fancy version. Boil the potatoes with the saffron, it's really cool, it goes yellow and gorgeous. You're welcome to go cheapo and add 1/8t turmeric, it gets the same look and most people don't know the difference. Either way, mash with butter, dill, s&p and the cream (I used reduced-fat). Spoon on top of fish and bake at 180C for 30-40 minutes to get golden brown.

xx
J