Final Feast

Steak has always been on the menu for my last meal. For years it was a T-Bone braaied by my dad with Royco Black Pepper Sauce mixed with Nestle tinned cream. My taste has improved slightly over time but I'm sticking with steak.

I suppose one can't expect class from your average scumbag sitting on death row. But I've looked up some last meals and really, some of these people have no taste. It's your last meal for God's sake, go big or go home (to your Maker). But dumb slag Aileen Wuornos, the woman Charlize played in Monster, had a burger from the prison canteen. And some coffee. (Because you really want to be awake before they put you to sleep). John Wayne Gacy, the piece of crap who killed 33 young men, had the right idea - going out with a cholesterol bang. He ordered deep-fried prawns, a bucket of KFC and chips. Timothy McVeigh, Mr Oklahoma Bomber, just had two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream. (But then again, the dumb hick only had two braincells). My favourite is Victor Feguer, who killed a doctor for drugs. His choice was quite whimsical - he ordered a single black unpitted olive, hoping it would sprout from his body and grow an olive tree, a sign of peace. It did not. Moron.

I won't squander my last opportunity for gastric excellence. I can almost picture it. First come the last rites. Delivered by Richard Chamberlain from The Thorn Birds. Then the conjugal visit. Delivered by Christopher Meloni from Law and Order. Then the pepper crusted fillet with a creamy mushroom sauce and a tangy bearnaise to cut through the richness. Followed by the delicate panna cotta with a deliciously tart coulis. Delivered by Robbie Williams. Naked.

Ah yes, my final hours. Perfectly executed.

xx

J 

 

BLACK PEPPER FILLET WITH BEARNAISE & PORTOBELLO SAUCE

Steak

I'm not going to tell you how to do your steak. It's a personal taste kind of thing. But for the record I rolled mine in Maldon salt and black peppercorns I crushed in a mortar and pestle (not a grinder please). I flash fried it on very hot to seal then stuck it in the oven on 360F for 15 minutes.

Portobello Sauce

1 Pack Portobello mushrooms sliced
1/2 Onion chopped finely
2 Cloves garlic crushed
1T Thyme (for dry use 1/2T)
3T Butter
5T Flour
1.5c Milk
1/4c Cream

Melt butter and fry onions and garlic until soft. Add mushrooms and cover to sweat for 10 minutes on medium heat. Season and add thyme. Add flour and fry for a couple of minutes. Slowly add milk until you have a thick mushroom sauce, then add the cream.

Bearnaise Sauce

1 Shallot chopped finely
1T Butter
1/2t White pepper
1T Tarragon (I only had dried, if using fresh you need 2T)
3T White wine vinegar
3T White wine
2 Egg yolks
100g Butter in little blocks
1T Lemon juice

Fry the shallot in the butter until soft. Add the pepper, tarragon, vinegar and wine. Boil until reduced to 1T. Strain. In a bowl over a pot of slowly simmering water whisk the egg yolks then add the reduced liquid. Slowly add the butter, whisking continuously. Add the lemon juice but taste to ensure the balance is right. Keep warm over very slowly simmering water until ready to serve. Be careful, this is one pain in the ass sauce. If it gets too hot it'll split and you're done.

VANILLA PANNA COTTA WITH STRAWBERRY & LIME COULIS

Panna Cotta

2c Cream
1/4c Sugar
1 Vanilla bean
3 Leaves of gelatin

Cut the vanilla bean in half and scrape the paste into the cream. Add the split beans to the cream and heat. Add the sugar and stir until dissolved. Set aside and allow to infuse for half an hour. Soak the gelatin in cold water for 5 minutes. Reheat the cream and vanilla mix slowly, add the gelatin and stir until melted. Pour into moulds and chill in the fridge for at least 2 hours.

Strawberry and Lime Coulis

250g Strawberries quartered
2T Sugar
2T Lime juice

Combine everything in a pot and simmer slowly until reduced and thickened. If it's taking too long you can use Maizena to speed things up. I whizzed mine a bit with a blender to get more of a saucy consistency.