Succubus Spaghetti

Succubus - A female demon who takes the form of a human woman in order to seduce men, usually through sexual intercourse.

You know who you are. You know what you've done. How dare you take from someone I love? What is it with you slags that you can't leave alone what's not yours?

Succubi like you have been slithering around the borders of my life for as long as I can remember. You are the reason H broke up with me. And then when you proceeded to in turn break his traitorous heart I had to listen to him sobbing: "Why was it so easy to get over you but so hard to get over her?" Nice one. (In retrospect H wasn't a great loss; once when I asked him why he was looking so pensive he replied "I'm not pensive I'm just thinking"... need I say more?) 

But there were others, others that mattered, others I needed, others I loved, that you took. And now here you are again. This time I'm ready for you. You should tread carefully on the pavements around Obs. Battered white Toyotas have been known to veer off course unexpectedly. DON'T hurt me or mine. I'm protective of the people I love. 

 

So here we go, just for you: Succubus Spaghetti - sexy, spicy and shamelessly seductive. I was initially loathe to attribute such a wonderful dish to you, but it's actually quite fitting. Pasta, garlic, oil, chilli - what's not to love? Yet you took it and made it yours. Fine. You can have it. I can take it. I'm mature...

I hope you enjoy the pasta, may it make your FAT ass even FATTER.

Whatever-the-opposite-is-of-xx

J 

SPAGHETTI AGLIO E OLIO CON PEPERONCINI 

250g Spaghetti per person

1/2c Olive oil

5 Cloves garlic crushed

2 Red chillis chopped

2T Rosemary/Sage/Thyme

Parmesan

Cook the spaghetti until al dente. Meanwhile heat the oil and gently fry the herbs and spices - you want to infuse, not burn. Mix through with the spaghetti, season with salt & pepper and add grated parmesan to taste.